Why Can't Michelle Rodriguez Stay Dead?

'Evil Dead' Stars Talk Remake

Let's just get this out of the way, I'm about to spoil some movies for ya. So tread carefully.

OK, so, the trailer for Resident Evil: Retribution was just released online and amongst all the eye-popping colors and Mila Jovovich's signature fighty-fight was a revelation I found myself unprepared for: Michelle Rodriguez returns!

For the uninitiated, Michelle co-starred in 2002's seriously awesome original Resident Evil movie, which saw her character Rain get bitten by an infected and killed by Alice in the movie's closing moments. And while the franchise has routinely played with the mortality of its characters (Alice in particular), I don't quite understand exactly how Rain could have survived, had her humanity restored and remained off-the-radar until RE's fifth installment.

But then again, I don't know why I'm surprised since Michelle's characters have been resurrected so many times, even Jesus is all, "Seriously guys?"

The murder of Letty, her character from The Fast & The Furious franchise, was the driving force behind Dom's actions in 2009's Fast and Furious. But an Easter Egg tacked on to the ending of 2011's Fast Five revealed that Letty is not only alive, but wanted by the police. Diesel explained away Letty's demise by telling EW that her body was never shown or found.

" It was very deliberate, the way the Letty character was handled in Fast 4. It was very deliberate that you never saw the body. When Dom confronts Fenix, he says, 'I don't remember her face because the last time I saw her she was burning' -- not, 'I shot her in the f***ing head.' You’re going to learn more in the next one."

It's also been rumored that her Avatar pilot, Trudy, will appear in James Cameron's sequel despite being blown up by the nefarious Colonel Quaritch in part one. Although those whispers may simply stem from the fact that Michelle has been lobbying hard for any role in the movie. Clearly, she too is aware that her characters are unable to die and is simply assuming she's able to return.

My problem with Michelle's inability to stay dead has nothing to do with personal feelings for the actress -- in fact, I'm a huge fan. Have been since Girlfight. The big issue for me is that all of these Phoenix-like moments feel like lazy writer choices that truly make no sense within the context of her original offing.

But then again, it's kind of crazy to expect Resident Evil (a movie about "zombies") or The Fast and The Furious (car/girl/action/testosterone porn) to play by the laws of nature. Or physics. Or logic.