Our top moments of the week:
12. Coming and Going Award: Rizzoli & Isles is back, and so is Casey! Jane is stunned when she finds her no-longer-paralyzed ex waiting at her doorstep. His spinal surgery was a success, but a romantic reunion is not in the cards just yet. After spending the night together, he tells her that he's returning to Afghanistan to train in virtual therapy for combat soldiers. "When I get back, I think it's time you and I give it a shot," he says.
11. Best Reveal, Part I: On Mistresses, Miranda, April's late husband's mistress, demands that April give her child support for the son she had with him. She even sends her lawyer to April's store to threaten her with a paternity suit. But not so fast -- in the very last scene, we learn that Miranda's "lawyer" is actually just an actor.
10. He Said, He Said Award: The Bachelorette's two-on-one dates are always awkward, but Desiree's rendezvous with Michael and Ben is particularly cringy. After they share close quarters on a "hot tug" boat, over dinner Michael not-so-subtly attempts to discredit Ben by criticizing his parenting skills and religious views. And it works! Desiree eliminates Ben and gives Michael a rose. You reap what you sow, Des!
9. Best Reveal, Part II: A clearly innocent waiter is arrested for the murder of Flora, the Powell family maid, on Devious Maids. But who is he? And what could possibly be his motive? "I want to get out of here, Mom," he says to Marisol (!) when she visits him in jail. "I'm working on it, baby," she replies. Is she ever!
8. Worst Misread: We've seen Big Brother contestants lie about their occupation to throw off their competitors, but on this season's premiere, the strategy arrives with a twist. Several players aren't buying it when McCrae announces that he is a pizza delivery boy. Amanda even goes so far as to call him a "secret genius" that can't be trusted. And maybe he is: He wins the first Head of Household competition without breaking a sweat. During his diary room session, he reveals the twist to which the audience is already privy: He actually is a pizza delivery boy!
7. Scariest Stunt: Don't try this at home, kids. Broadcasted by Discovery, daredevil Nik Wallenda, a descendant of the famous Flying Wallendas, successfully makes it 1,400 feet across the Grand Canyon on a tightrope 1,500 feet above the ground — without a harness or a net. It's arguably one of the most stomach-churning live TV events ever. It takes Wallenda an agonizingly long 22 minutes to complete the task — wearing jeans no less -- all while continuously praying to God to help him. He does.
6. Deadliest Premonition: When True Blood's Bill starts having visions of the future, he is startled to discover that Jessica, Pam, Eric and Tara figure largely in the latest, in which a room full of prison-jumpsuited vamps bursts into flame when a huge skylight opens to the sun. Dear Billith, please save our fangtastic friends!
5. Best New Mystery: It wasn't Miss Scarlett in the conservatory with the revolver. Whodunnit?'s first murder was someone by the fish tank with the slingshot (right in the spinal cord!). The absurdity continues when a fire alarm goes off at 4:38 a.m. and the guests convene outside by the pool. But who's missing? It's Dontae, who comes screaming, on fire, out of the mansion and dives into the pool. Whodunnit? We cannot wait to find out!
4. Holy Cow Award: CBS' new summer drama Under the Dome kicks off with a bang, when the titular dome comes crashing down over the town of Chester's Mill, but not without carnage. In vivid detail, we see how the dome has landed on a cow, cleaving it not-so-neatly in two. BBQ anyone?
3. Most Rockin' Performance: The America's Got Talent judges — and America — have no idea what they're in for when sweet little 6-year-old Aaralyn, wearing a polka-dot skirt and hot-pink tights, strolls onstage with her 9-year-old drummer brother Isaiah. Instead of the usual power ballad, Aaralyn launches into an insane, growling heavy-metal performance of an original tune called "Zombie Skin." Judge Mel B. quips, "Scary Spice is officially scared." Not us! We can't wait to hear some of her other compositions, like "Lullaby Crash" and "Brush My Hair in Knots." Rock on!
2. Weirdest Apology: Paula Deen stops by the Today show to do some damage control in the wake of her racism scandal and to apologize... we think. In a bizarre, teary interview, the embattled chef says she's "committed a sin," skirts Matt Lauer's question on whether she thinks the N-word is offensive to African-Americans, insists that she's not a racist and, perhaps most perplexingly, presents herself as the victim, saying that she would not have fired herself like the Food Network, and a few other companies, had up until that point. "I is what I is and I'm not changing," she says. "There's someone evil out there that saw what I had and they wanted it." (Since the interview, Deen has been dropped by seven more companies.)
1. Saddest Confession: On Mad Men's Season 6 premiere, Don was reading Dante's Inferno. By the finale, he's spiraled down to the ninth circle of hell. After delivering one of his polished pitches — a cute pseudo-story about his childhood — to Hershey executives, Don, who had spent the night in jail after socking a minister, can't fight his despair anymore. In a devastatingly raw monologue, he reveals not only to the Hershey brass, but to his co-workers, that he grew up in a whorehouse and his association with a Hershey bar is not as heartwarming as he had just led them to believe. "It was the only sweet thing in my life," he says bleakly of getting chocolate for stealing money from the pockets of johns. The confession forces the partners to put Don on a leave of absence, but frees him to do something else: show his children where he came from.
What were your top moments?
- Arts & Entertainment