Though Homer Simpson and Barrack Obama have been turned into Chia figurines, few celebrities have had the honor of becoming one of America's kitschiest kitchen counter decorations. Given that anything linked to a celebrity has more marketing juice, we wondered why the company that makes Chia everythin -- from Chia Pigs to a Chia alarm clock -- hasn't come out with a full-fledged celebrity line yet.
Surely the creators that made the ubiquitous infomercial jingle "Ch-ch-ch-chia!" famous would love the cha-ching of more coins in the cash register.
In case the company that makes Chia figurines is flummoxed by which stars to pick for its fledgling celebrities line, here are a few of our top ch-ch-ch-choices:
Katy Perry: Although the standard chia plant that grows from seeds on the terra cotta Chia figurines is green, a botanist could cross-breed some chia seeds with those of a pink grass plant to make a Chia version of the pink-haired "I Kissed a Girl" singer.
Angelina Jolie: The "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" co-star's Chia Celeb could come with a permanent marker to draw profound yet enigmatic tattoos
Gwyneth Paltrow: Dual purposing as both a chachka and indoor garden, this Chia Celeb would sprout organic chia that could be sprinkled on a salad or blended into a green drink for breakfast.
Joan Rivers:Made out of plastic instead of terra cotta.
Kim Kardashian: Comes packaged with a male mate who would be replaced by the company every 72 days.
Lady Gaga:Grows a meat dress instead of chia.
Kate Gosselin:Comes with an octet of little Chia Children. Sold as a two-pack with Chia Octomom.
Brad Pitt: Grows a chia beard.
Snooki: Changes color when placed under a tanning lamp.
Chelsea Handler:Needs to be watered with vodka, much like the TV talk show host who wrote "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea."
Lindsay Lohan: Also prefers vodka to water. Consumes other kitchen decorations when no one is looking.
Of course, the chance of any of these Chia Celebrities being hawked on TV or displayed at your local drug store any time soon is as slim as LeAnn Rimes' waist. Celebrities carefully control their images with licensing agreements and would probably not want their likeness to sit next to a bottle of dish soap.
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