Though she was recently named one of Time magazine's "100 Most Influential People in the World," the woman formerly known as Kate Middleton is about as interesting to watch as a potted plant. She dresses conservatively, takes afternoon tea with her grandma-in-law (a.k.a., The Queen), and spends many nights on her sofa watching movies on the telly.
As Jerry Seinfeld would say, "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
But compared to her party girl sister Pippa and brother James, who runs an X-rated cake baking business, the Duchess of Cambridge is, well, a tad dull.
Pippa Middleton was most recently in the news after she was snapped riding in a car with three male friends, one of whom pointed a toy gun out the window at a paparazzo. Though the gun was a fake, Pippa's laughing face in the picture was real as were rumors the Duchess's younger sister could be carted off to a French prison.
Prior to the wild car ride, Pippa was dancing and partying until 5 a.m. at a Marie Antoinette-themed costume party that included a nearly naked nun and a man wearing a dog collar.
Could be Pippa was tired of her bum getting all the attention (there is even a Twitter feed called Pippa Middleton's Ass) and decided to give the press something meatier to chew on.
Meanwhile, James Middleton, 24, Kate and Pippa's little brother, made headlines recently for launching a racy cake baking business. Instead of such snoozy messages as "Happy Birthday Betty," Middleton's cakes contain such salacious slogans as "jiggly jugs" and "wriggly willies." The Sexy Hubby cake reads, "Buttox of steel for a squeezy feel" and shows an arrow pointing to a cartoon man's crotch with the caption, "Weapon of mass seduction."
And that's one of the tamer cakes.
Compounding James' naughty boy image are pictures of him circulating around the Internet in suggestive poses, including one in which his hand is placed inside his boxer shorts and another that depicts him blow drying his hair down under.
Clearly, it is hard for the Duchess to compete with such saucy sibs; nor would she want to. Her royal job description is to look pretty, attend charity functions and produce royal heirs. In fact, her relatively restrained lifestyle makes her seem that much more regal.
True to her dull reputation, the most exciting thing these days about Waity Katie -- the woman who waited out her twenties until she received a ring from the future king of England -- is the rest of the world now waiting for her royal tummy to expand.
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- Arts & Entertainment
- Pippa Middleton
- Kate Middleton
- James Middleton