'Jersey Shore' Recap: 'Merp Walk'

Yahoo Contributor Network
'Jersey Shore' Recap: 'Merp Walk'
.

View photo

The last season of "Jersey Shore" isn't as exciting as it used to be.

The final season of MTV's "Jersey Shore" feels more like a public service announcement than our favorite fist-pumping reality show. In last night's episode, none of the Shore crew seemed to be having a good time. Instead, there was only chipped bones, arrests and regret.

The Aftermath of J-Woww's Night

After getting into a fight at Bamboo, Jenni "J-Woww" Farley moaned and groaned to Snooki that she needed to have her foot checked out by a doctor. For the record, Jenni didn't do any face-punching, only drink throwing, but a fist and a drink can totally look like the same thing.

The guys were rolling their eyes about Jenni's whining, when she waived her certified, note from a real health professional declaring a bone in her foot had been chipped. Being the soldier she is, she pushed through the pain for a night of clubbing over at Karma. Priorities, folks.

Drunk People Annoy Mike

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino not only likes Paula, he also loves the Edible Arrangements she sends him. Mike apparently hasn't gotten the memo that this show is all about drunken antics in the middle of the night, so whining and kicking rocks about how much drunk people annoy you means the guy should probably go work at a bank or something. But Paula was there to cheer him up, and everyone was glad for that. "Ride or die," which in Mike-speak means soothe a 5am temper tantrum over being around drunks in a show about drunks.

One Sauced Meatball

Deena Cortese is one lonely meatball, folks. Since Deena will be saying goodbye to Snooki, she declared an annual "Meatball Day" complete with auditions for Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's replacement, and of course getting 'sauced' herself. The jokes tend to write themselves at this point. So Deena's a little drunk and disorderly wandering the streets of Seaside Heights in broad daylight, which attracts the attention of the police, and Deena gets some cuffs to go with her outfit. Sammi "Sweatheart" Giancola and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro were there to try and save the day, but they were too late. Off to jail Deena went, where she could sober up and cry over the void left by Snooki. Like Deena, we can't decide whether to laugh or cry about it either.

Note:This was written by a Yahoo! contributor. Join the Yahoo! Contributor Network here to start publishing your own articles.

View Comments