Gossip Mag Cooks Up Marriage Contest Between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston

Is This Race to the Altar Amazing or Unbelievable?

Yahoo Contributor Network
Will Brangelina make it to the altar before Justifer?
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Will Brangelina make it to the altar before Justifer?

Since there is only one Brad Pitt, and the one with pouty lips has temporary custody of him, the media's two favorite nemeses -- Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie -- must fight over something else besides the prized "Moneyball" actor.

Jolie wrote and directed a movie while mothering six children and gets brownie points for doing charity work; Aniston has a flock of friends, a buff new boyfriend and is the kind of woman most females would prefer to have a latte with.

But calling it a draw and letting sleeping stars lie with the man or woman of their choice would be a snore. So six years after the "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" star stole off with his movie wife and left his real wife wondering "What happened?" tabloids are still telling tales that pit the two women against each other.

The marriage race is the most recent ridiculous rumor spread by the mischief making magazine, OK! "THE LATEST INSULT: ANGIE SABOTAGES JEN'S WEDDING" blasts the headline on its cover this week, overlaying a picture of a shifty-eyed Angie and Zen looking Jen.

"For weeks, insiders close to Jen have said she is planning to marry Justin Theroux," the magazine teases on its website. "Now, friends of Angelina say that not only is the star finally ready to get hitched to Brad, but she's also picked out the dress and plans to host a more dazzling affair than Jen's!"

Holy Pad Thai Batman, someone has to rescue the walking shampoo commercial from her high-cheek-boned enemy.

Galloping in on its white horse, the chivalrous website Gossip Cop smashed OK!'s accusations to smithereens, pointing out such pesky facts as the following -- neither Aniston nor Jolie are currently engaged to their alleged affianced.

Still, it is fun to see OK! run away with its imagination, planning menus and wedding locales for these fictional nuptials. Citing numerous unnamed sources and insiders, the magazine has the Brangelina affair awash in roses of all colors and sea bass served after the Jen and Justin (Justifer?) knot-tying ceremony.

The only things missing from the suspiciously sourced article were aliens and fuzzy pictures of the arch rivals having secret trysts with wedding planners.

More From This Contributor:

'Pulling a Tiger Woods' and Other Celebrity Behavior Catch Phrases

Meet the Brangelinas: What If There was a Jolie-Pitt Family Reality TV Show?

Lady Gaga Meatwich and Other Celebrity Sandwiches We'd like to See

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