GOOP Gone Mad: Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Make Your Own Cucumber Ice Cream for Halloween

Plus, More Goofy Ideas from GOOP

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Gwyneth Paltrow
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Gwyneth Paltrow

In her latest issue of GOOP -- Gwyneth Paltrow's taste-setting blog on how to be hip and cool like her -- the Hollywood-girl-gone-Brit seriously recommends deseeding cucumbers to make ice cream. Given that the mother of two and wife of rocker Chris Martin advocates women hone their time management skills to make time for workouts, Girls Nights Out and getting photo ops, er quality time, with the kiddos, the labor-intensive recipe for an ice cream that doesn't even sound good makes one wonder if the "Running with Scissors" actress is going off the deep end.

The recipe in this week's Halloween issue of GOOP calls for peeling and deseeding cucumbers, chopping them finely, bashing them with a rolling pin and straining them with a sieve -- all before adding them to the good stuff like gin and heavy cream. By the time a home cook got through this time-consuming process, it would already be Christmas.

This is not the first time that even women with salon coiffed heads have scratched their pampered scalps in amazement at Paltrow's absurd ideas. Here are some other bits of bizarre advice from past pages of GOOP:

Dry Cleaning Tip to Prevent Cracking Buttons

"In order to prevent cracking of buttons on a blouse during cleaning, tape each button or remove them before cleaning and sew them back on after," suggested dry cleaning guru John Mahdessian, owner and manager of Madame Paulette in New York City, in a previous issue of GOOP. Can you imagine actually removing the buttons on each of your blouses and sewing them back on each time you take them to the cleaners? If even one person thought this was a good idea, that's a lot.

Homemade Sushi for Your Kids' Lunchbox

If you don't want your kid finding a taker for trading lunches, be sure to pack homemade vegetarian sushi in her Justin Bieber lunch bag. The recipe promoted in GOOP promises it's "a great way to sneak some extra vegetables into your kid's diet," a cool trick since the asparagus is clearly visible on either end of the pictured roll. No doubt you have to hide your child's glasses, too. The lunchbox recipe is only slightly more kid-friendly than the "Beet and Walnut Dip" below it, an off-putting brownish-red spread that looks more like a mixture for making bricks.

Lubricating Your Legs to Put on Leggings

Vanity Fair asked Paltrow to let readers in on her secret for getting tight leggings on more quickly, and the GOOPster suggested "rubbing onto your legs a paste made from five spoonfuls of extra-virgin olive oil, turbinado sugar, and coarsely ground fair-trade coffee."

Well, actually she didn't, but we had you going there. The magazine was mocking the oft absurd advice of the actress-turned-lifestyle guru on her Internet blog. Still, given her penchant for dispensing off-the-wall advice, we find it difficult to differentiate between Paltrow's blog and VF's parody.

More From This Contributor:

Suri's Burn Book and Other Fake Twitter Accounts of Celebrity Children

Olsen Twins' $39,000 Backpack and Other Crazy Expensive Celebrity Accessories

How Well Do You Know Gwyneth Paltrow?

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