For two celebrities who attract photographers just by going out for coffee, you would think a bogus engagement publicity stunt would not only be beneath them, but also unnecessary. Yet ever since announcing their engagement, the likelihood that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will ever get married seems to lessen with each lame excuse for putting off the big day.
On Monday, the bearded one told a reporter in Cannes, "We have no date at all right now . . . . We're still hoping for marriage equality in the States before we [get married]."
It is possible that Pitt and his pouty-lipped partner hatched the engagement plot to quell all the gossip and criticism about creating a family before making wedding plans. Yet plopping a large ring on Angie and then saying "manana" when asked about an actual "I do" date hardly settles the matter.
If anything, it could make Brangelina watchers even more skeptical its plans extend beyond tomorrow's breakfast menu.
Of course, it's possible the pair is planning a LeAnn Rimes style reverse-surprise wedding in which guests are invited for one purpose and then punk'd when the couple surprises them by getting married -- a ploy that was copied by Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg and his medical bride last weekend. But doing the same thing as the oft mocked country singer or social networking prodigy would make the "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" pair seem derivative and undermine the avant-garde image it presents to the public.
Significantly, Pitt popped up in Cannes solo this week to pimp his movie, "Killing Them Softly." His widely publicized dismissal of wedding date rumors put a damper on the Grazia story the "Moneyball" actor was freshening up his French chateau and building a landing strip for his A-list friends to swoop down on for a summer wedding. The tabloid even quoted an insider who said the daddy of six was "tasting and looking up rare French dishes for weeks." But does such attention to detail ring true for a man who forgets to shave most mornings?
Perhaps most discouraging to those who wait for Angie and Brad to get married, like pot watchers waiting for water to boil, is the unromantic way in which the purported groom-to-be speaks of the so-called engagement, calling it "something that made sense" -- a phrase that better describes a financial investment than sacred union.
Worse, the original engagement announcement was made by Pitt's business manager, who characterized the commitment as "a promise for the future" that made the couple's children "very happy." What father hasn't made some vague promise to his kids in hopes they would be placated and eventually forget or change their mind?
Whether the engagement is real -- or just a ruse to hush rumors, quiet the kiddos and get some publicity for their upcoming movie projects -- is hard to say. Yet as John Hamm, Sheryl Crow or any other alumnus from Pitt's Mizzou alma mater might say, "I'm from Missouri, show me."
More From This Contributor:
Note: This was written by a Yahoo! contributor. Join the Yahoo! Contributor Network here to start publishing your own articles
- Arts & Entertainment