'Bachelorette' Recap: Ashley Hebert & J.P. Rosenbaum Tie the (Celtic) Knot

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'Bachelorette' Recap: Ashley Hebert & J.P. Rosenbaum Tie the (Celtic) Knot
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(Chris Harrison)

Last night, ABC aired a "Bachelorette" special, featuring the wedding of Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum.

I Swear We Aren't Kissing 24/7!

Chris Harrison opened the show by reminding viewers that there were "no guarantees" in life, but that "Bachelor" remained dedicated to helping people find love. He also talked about the couples who had found love through "Bachelor" Nation, including Trista and Ryan, Jason and Molly, Holly and Blake, and DeAnna and Stephen.

We also saw a montage of Ashley and J.P.'s relationship, and their life together after her season as the "Bachelorette." The couple lives in Princeton, New Jersey, where the sight of so many families is giving her Baby Fever.

From what we've seen, Ashley and J.P. can't keep their lips off each other. But as Ashley tweets, "I swear we aren't kissing 24/7! hahah"

Later, during the exchanging of the vows, the happy couple was barely able to hold off until Chris gave him the okay to kiss the bride.

Big Sis is a Team Cupcake Convert

During her run as the "Bachelorette," Ashley's sister, Chrystie, had serious reservations about J.P. because he was older and didn't seem to make her laugh. However, Big Sis seems to have had a change of heart. She spent the entire program talking about how "wrong, wrong, wrong" she was for doubting the connection that Ashley and J.P. had.

Did she really have a change of heart? Or is the network paying her to tow the party line? We'll never know.

Wedding Planning

During their meeting with wedding planner Mindy Weiss, Ashley was full of ideas. She wanted a decor that was "simple," "feminine," and "neutral."

Did anyone notice that J.P.'s purple shirt matched the decor of the room, including the pillows and wall decorations?

J.P. seemed to adopt an attitude of "whatever you want, honey." Poor guy had to sit through Ashley's dog, Boo, being fitted for $7,500 tutus. We don't blame him for appearing bored and detached. Although given that ABC was giving them a generous check to get married on TV, you'd think he'd be a little more engaged in the process.

Let them Eat Cake

J.P. "Cupcake's" face lit up when it was time to choose the cakes. Ashley decided on a red velvet cake because it was "eye catching." He probably just wanted to get in on the free samples.

J.P. Should Have Gone With the White Suit

After Ashley and the women decided on a bridal gown, it was time for the groom to choose a tux. He ended up going with a conservative black tux, but I'm thinking he should have gone with the white suit.

Given that "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" was playing when Ashley walked down the aisle, that Elvis-themed white suit would have been appropriate. And it would have given "serious" J.P. a chance to show that he does have a sense of humor.

Ashley Dances Around a Pole

During her Bachelorette party, Ashley danced around a pole with moves that rivaled Miley Cyrus' 2009 Teen Choice Awards dance. Bestie Ashley Spivey commemorated the occasion with a secret pic of the pole dancing lessons.

Meanwhile, J.P. enjoyed his bromantic Bachelor party, complete with race-car driving, but couldn't wait to be reunited with his bride-to-be.

'Bachelor' Alums Mug for the Camera

The "Bachelor" alums made their obligatory appearance. As usual, Trista Sutter dominated most of the interview while her husband, Ryan, smiled and nodded silently.

Jason Mesnick advised new "Bachelor" Sean Lowe to listen to his heart (subtext: don't let the network pressure you into proposing to someone you don't really love. Otherwise, you'll be stuck having to make an embarrassing switcheroo on national television, then dealing with years of subsequent hate mail).

Molly is pregnant with the couple's first child, and people are weighing in with baby names. Ty votes for Ty Jr. while Chris Harrison hopes it will be either Chris or Christina.

Ashley and J.P. Tie the (Celtic) Knot

It was a multi-cultural wedding, complete with yarmulkes, a Celtic handfasting ceremony. Apparently the phrase "tie the knot" comes from this Celtic ritual. But how exactly does this tie in with francophone Ashley Hebert's cultural tradition? And who knew that Chris Harrison was certified to officiate at weddings?

Emily Maynard & Ali Fedotowsky/i Weigh In

At the reception, Emily commented on how she's had several failed engagements, but that seeing Ashley and J.P. so happy has given her renewed faith. Don't worry, Emily. I'm sure Bentley Williams is available.

Apparently Ali is now spelling her last name with "i" instead of a "y." And apparently she and Roberto Martinez took a trip down memory lane after the wedding.

Sean "Yawn" Lowe is the Next "Bachelor"

Bummer that we won't be seeing Roberto as the next "Bachelor." Instead we'll be subjected to a season of Sean "Yawn" Lowe. This guy is sweet as pie, but comes across as bland as flavorless oatmeal.

He will make a wonderful husband off-screen, but he doesn't seem interesting or compelling enough to hold his own as a leading man.

Will Ashley and J.P.'s marriage last? Are you happy for Jason and Molly? Will Emily ever make it down the aisle? Will Sean be able to find love as the next "Bachelor"? Would you want Chris Harrison to officiate at your wedding?

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