'The Bachelorette' Desiree Hartsock Heads to the Jersey Shore

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'The Bachelorette' Desiree Hartsock Heads to the Jersey Shore
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(Chris Harrison)

Last night, "The Bachelorette" went "Jersey Shore" in more ways than one.

Arie Luyendyk Jr. summed it up best when he tweeted, "#Bachelorette is going to Jersey tonight... I'm sure most of them will feel right at home #passtheprotein"

This week, "Bachelorette" Desiree Hartsock and the guys headed to Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Mr. Meathead America

On this week's group date, the guys participated in the "Bachelorette" Mr. America pageant. The competition consisted of an interview portion, a talent portion, and finally a swimsuit competition. The judging panel included Miss America Mallory Hagan, Atlantic City mayor Lorenzo Langford, and Desiree.

During the interview portion, Mikey proceeded to prove that he was a "sensitive guy" despite his stacked physique.. He talked about how women only judged men by their physiques, and that they didn't understand men's "insides." He talked about how men also loved romantic walks on the beach.

In the talent portion, however, he channeled his inner "Jersey Shore" meathead by strutting around shirtless and performing upside down push-ups.

While watching the swim suit portion, Ashley Spivey summed it up best by tweeting, "Wouldn't it be funny if The Situation showed up but no one even noticed because he looks like everyone else. #bachelorette"

Second runner-up went to flamboyant ukelele-smashing Brooks. Runner-up was singing Zak W. The winner of the "Bachelorette" Mr. America was Hashtag Kasey the "Giver" whose tap dancing was so bad that it was actually kind of endearing.

Zak W. continued to serenade Desiree at the after-party, and despite being runner-up in the pageant, he won the group date rose.

"Old People Can Be So Sweet!"

James' one-on-one date with Desiree consisted of a helicopter ride to the Jersey Shore, accompanied by a Red Cross representative, where they witnessed first-hand the devastation of Hurricane Sandy.

After walking through the Jersey Shore beaches, they met a sweet elderly couple who had lost their home during the hurricane. Because of the tragedy, Manny and Jan ended up having to spend their 38th anniversary at a Red Cross shelter.

Given that Manny and Jan were not able to celebrate their anniversary, Desiree and James decided to give them their date, a romantic night in Atlantic City. During their dinner, a Red Cross representative presented the couple with a realistic replica of their wedding album (which had been destroyed during the hurricane). The couple finished their evening with a private concert by Darius Rucker.

Manny and Jan's marriage represented the type of relationship that Desiree wanted. This couple had survived tumultuous highs and lows and had become stronger than ever. As "Clueless'" Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) remarked, "old people can be so sweet!"

Later, during a fast food run, James confessed to Des that he had cheated on a previous girlfriend in college, but that he had learned from the experience and was determined to never cheat again. While Des was a bit worried that temptation could become a problem with him, she appreciated his honesty and his willingness to learn from past mistakes. She rewarded him with a rose.

A Shame Spiral

Speaking of oblique "Clueless" references, Brad ended up walking down a spiral staircase of shame after being sent home on his one-on-one date. Talk about a "shame spiral!"

It's just as well that Desiree sent Brad packing. These two had no physical chemistry. Their body language was stilted and painfully awkward. And his sob story about his ex and his son seemed a bit suspect. How is it that his ex had gone on a drunken rage, but that he was the one who had been slapped with the restraining order?

Off topic, am I the only whose "gaydar" has been flagging all season? Some of these men make me wonder if they could secretly be playing for the other team (Brad and Brooks in particular). And during the Mr. America pageant, some of the guys seemed a little too excited to see "world-renowned" pageant coach Christopher Dean.

Rose Ceremony

Zak W. and James had roses going into the ceremony.

At the ceremony, Chris received a rose (despite worries that his "BFF pinky swear" had put him in the "friend zone.") Don't worry Chris, you're from Seattle. That alone means you'll go far in this competition. Just ask Jason Mesnick, Chantal O'Brien, and Lindzi Cox.

Juan Pablo, Drew, and Michael G. also received roses. Apparently Michael G's romantic acrostic, based on the letters "Des G" won him another week on the show. (Not sure if using the letters "Des G" was the best idea. What if she wants to keep her maiden name or hyphenate it?)

Token villain Ben, Hashtag Kasey, and Bryden also received roses. Bryden only grudgingly accepted his rose, after admitting that he had been "struggling" with the process and was considering leaving the show. Meathead Mikey received the last rose, complaining "you're making me sweat." (I think it was actually the upside-down push-ups that made him sweat.)

Brad had already been sent home on his one-on-one date. Zack K. was sent home at the rose ceremony. It's just as well. His exit ITM was probably the first time we actually noticed that he was on the show.

More From This Contributor:

'Bachelorette' Desiree Hartsock Sends the B-Men Home

'Bachelorette' Desiree Hartsock Is Here For the Right Reasons

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