'Bachelor' Recap: Why Selma Dodged a Bullet

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'Bachelor' Recap: Why Selma Dodged a Bullet

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(Chris Harrison)

In an interview with TV Guide, "Bachelor" host Chris Harrison claimed that Selma "shot herself in the foot" by not doing the Polar Bear Plunge. However, I have to disagree. She absolutely made the right decision by staying true to herself.

"I Would Do Anything For Love"

If there was a soundtrack to last night's episode, it would be Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love."

Sean Lowe and the producers are really making these ladies jump through hoops with these extreme dates. In this week's two-part episodes, we had a lumberjack-themed group date where the women had to milk goats and drink goat milk. Later on a one-on-one date, Sean and Desiree rappelled down a steep 400-foot mountain.

But the Polar Bear Plunge was probably the most extreme date of the week. During a group date, Sean joined the girls in taking a plunge in Lake Louise, where the water temperature was below freezing, wearing nothing but swim suits.

On some level, there is a purpose to these extreme dates. The show likes to create metaphors of "falling" in love or taking a "leap" of faith.

But there's a reason that "Bachelorette" produces more successful marriages than "Bachelor." In "Bachelor," the women are in the position of having to chase the man. And this format runs counter-intuitively to male/female dynamics. How many times have you had a guy relentlessly pursue you, only to suddenly lose interest as soon as you got attached?

These Nice Girls were willing to risk their brave extreme temperatures and risk their health in order to win Sean's favor. But in the end, guys are not going to choose the girl who dutifully jumps through hoops for him. At best, he'll end up friend-zoning her. At worst, he'll end up taking her for granted.

Guys like the thrill of the chase. They want to earn the girl's affection. This is why a mean girl like Tierra has such a stronghold over him while the Nice Girls are ending up in the reject limo.

"But I Won't Do That"

Chris Harrison argued that Selma "shot herself in the foot" by not doing the Polar Bear Plunge. He also suggested that her unwillingness to change her mind was a turn-off for Sean.

But I have to disagree. Why risk getting hypothermia when there's no guarantee that you'll end up with a rose? If a guy likes you, that's not going to change just because you don't want to submerge yourself in freezing water.

And it's not like Selma hasn't tried to meet Sean halfway. A few weeks ago, she braved desert heat and went rock-climbing at the Joshua Tree National Park, despite not being an outdoorsy person at all. And this week, she took a huge step by kissing him on national television, breaking what her family would have considered a cultural taboo.

I have to respect Selma for being true to herself, even if it cost her a rose. Obviously, they were not a match, and it's better that they realized this early on. And she's probably better off. If Tierra is the kind of girl that he likes, then maybe he's not such a great catch.

On looks alone, Selma will have no trouble finding a boyfriend, preferably one who doesn't go for deceitful manipulative drama queens.

"If I'm Too Good for Him, then How Come I'm Not With Him?"

Also leaving the show empty-handed were blondes Sarah and Daniella.

Sean's breakup with Sarah reminds me of the locker room scene from "Clueless." After getting dumped by Elton (Jeremy Sisto), Cher (Alicia Silverstone) and Dionne (Stacey Dash) assure an inconsolable Tai (Brittany Murphy) that she's "too good for him."

In response, Tai wails the classic, "if I'm too good for him, then how come I'm not WITH him?" Sarah's dilemma perfectly illustrates my earlier point. This girl (with one arm!) free-fell down a 35-story building for him, paddled a canoe, participated in a roller derby, and submerged herself in below-freezing water. And instead of winning his affections, she got the old "you'll make somebody very happy one day, but not me" speech.

Somewhere in Hollywood Heaven, Brittany Murphy wants to give this poor girl a hug.

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