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Mr. Natalie Portman Retires from Ballet

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Natalie Portman's fiance and baby daddy, Benjamin Centipede Millepied (har har), is retiring as principal dancer at the New York City Ballet, the New York Times reports. Millepied, 34, had been at the job since 2002, and now intends to focus full-time on choreography.

The Frenchman choreographed "Black Swan" -- that's how he met Portman -- and later produced this adorable chipmunk. When he's not busy doing diapers and planning a wedding to the girl of every fanboy's dreams, Millepied likes to crack open a bottle of red at the end of the night and sit down by the fire and rub his hands together and go "muahahaHAHAHAHA."

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