Lovato comes clean. (S Fernandez / Splash News)
"What I can say is that I was depressed," the "Sonny With a Chance" star continued. "I would come off stage in front of 18,000 people and suddenly be alone in a hotel room. I'd come crashing down and would try to find a way to recreate that feeling, to stay 'up.' Promoters gave me drugs and alcohol in restaurants or clubs. They wanted me to come back so I would be seen there. They were basically kissing my ass. I thought they were my friends. I thought I was having fun. Being a celebrity can be dangerous. Nobody says 'no.' That's why so many end up overdosing and dying. It could definitely have happened to me."
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Lovato's downward spiral hit bottom when, in the middle of a tour with the Jonas Brothers, she punched one of her backup dancers who ratted her out for partying the night before. As a result, her family and handlers quickly ushered her into rehab, even though she says it was against her will at the time. "It was really, really hard and scary," she says of her 90-day stay at a treatment facility in Illinois. "I was homesick and lonely and several times I thought, 'F--k it, I'm leaving.' But my mom told me I would regret it. This was my only chance. I had 14 hours of therapy a day. I listened to music and learned to knit. When I finally left, it was like being let out of prison."
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After finishing treatment in January 2011, Lovato took six months off — and debated even returning to the business which ultimately led to her destruction. But she did, and she's learning to cope with the demands of the job. Although Lovato says she has not touched drugs or alcohol since completing her rehab stint, she does admit to purging and cutting. "I've slipped up a few times," she says, "but each time I have learned from it, and it's become further apart."
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