The 5 Most Outrageously Expensive Gifts In Gwyneth’s GOOP Holiday Guide

It's that time of year again.

The time of year when recession-proof empress of luxury Gwyneth Paltrow releases her version of Oprah's favorite things on her lifestyle site, GOOP.

The Christmas wish list usually reads like a wish-I-could-afford-one-thing-on-this-list list rather than a holiday guide, unless of course you're a A-list actress making tens of millions of dollars per film.

This year doesn't disappoint, though Gwynie, 42, does admit to feeling a little off of her holiday game.

"Usually by this point in the year, I am well organized, Christmas cards are ready to go, I've got a good jump on the gifts," she blogs. "Not this year. I am overwhelmed and a disaster."

[Related: Gwyneth Paltrow Draws Outrage From Authors After 'Highjacking' Literary Event]

But, she says the lifestyle site's holiday suggestions are things that "will make Father Christmas proud," and help the "Iron Man" star get back on her holiday track.

Here are the most luxurious (read: costly) of her suggestions.

1. To "take your dinner party up a notch," Paltrow suggests a set of Bespoke Home monogrammed linens that total $1,209 for 8 dinner napkins, 8 cocktail napkins, 4 hemstitched guest towels and 2 mismatched tea towels.
2. Her "great gift for mom" is a Jennifer Creel 14K yellow, pink, or white gold chain with three customized name charms that retails for a cool $3,150.
3. A "luxe gift for a girlfriend" comes in the form of Olivia Von Halle three-letter monogrammed silk pajamas for $1,093.50.
4. Paltrow does warn that her Malle W. Troussseau is a "big ticket item," but just how big is that ticket? The 43-piece kitchen set retails for $5,800.
5. Can't afford a real Damian Hirst for your child's bedroom, but still have almost $1,000 to burn? Pick up one of Jan Eleni's "children's masterpieces," which start at a cool $950.

[Related: Gwyneth Paltrow: My Life Looks A Lot Smoother Than It Is]

She does have a few affordable options, like a monogrammed LL Bean tote bag (notice a theme?) for $46.95, but she recommends you use it to hold all the other gifts you'll be giving along with it. Perhaps the "Modern Manners" book by Paltrow pal LIv Tyler and her grandmother Dorothea Johnson for $13.23 can get you started.

What do you think? Will you be draining your bank account to pick up a few of her suggestions?