When you show up at a fancy shin-dig like the MTV Video Movie Awards wearing a meat dress, chances are good that more than dogs will notice. Lady Gaga's numerous stunts are so outrageous that if she jumped off a building, landed in mud pit and wrestled with Madonna, most people would yawn and say, "Oh, there goes Gaga again."
Still, the concept of a woman wearing what belongs on a dinner plate is preposterous, and such weird behavior is too meaty a meal for the late night wolves to pass up. The night after the shock rocker appeared on the awards show, comedian George Lopez quipped in his opening monologue, "When they asked Lady Gaga "Who are you wearing?" she said, 'This is Oscar de la Mayer.'"
The "Born This Way" singer is not the only celebrity at whom the late night boys enjoy shooting their comedy water pistols. Most celebrities have a fatal flaw or weakness that turns into an irresistible target for comedy writers.
Lindsay Lohan, for instance, most recently become infamous for allegedly stealing a necklace from a Beverly Hills jewelry store. That prompted Craig Ferguson to remark during Mardi Gras, "In New Orleans tonight the streets are awash in necklaces. If only you could have waited a few weeks, Lindsay Lohan."
Nor could elfish Conan O'Brien resist a little dig at the "Mean Girls" actress when he said, "Lindsay Lohan had her house arrest bracelet removed. Then, when no one was looking, she slipped the bracelet into her pocket."
Ironically, Paris Hilton, who is often the butt of comedian's jokes herself, made a funny at her fellow party girl's expense while doing community service at a homeless shelter. She told Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show" that one of the women admired her earrings so she gave them to her. But when the woman said, "Thank you Lindsay," mistaking the hotel heiress for LiLo, Paris piped back, "I'm not her. If I was Lindsay, I would be stealing the earrings, not giving them away."
Despite her privileged perch above the masses, Paris Hilton is not immune from the comedians' jokes either. Playing off her airhead image, Jimmy Kimmel implied she lacked a fifth grader's knowledge about world history when he mocked, "Paris Hilton is in hot water for a picture in which she looks like she's doing a Nazi salute. Let's be honest, Paris Hilton has no idea what a Nazi salute is. She probably thinks Nazi is a game you play with dice."
Other celebrities late night comedians like to joke about
The late night lads had a field day when Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with his family's maid, prompting Conan O'Brien to quip, "Arnold Schwarzenegger is laying low in Europe. He was in his homeland of Austria, and he said he misses schnitzel. By the way, schnitzel is the name of his Austrian lovechild."
Conan also joked about Bristol Palin, whose perceived weakness is a lack of common sense. Of the "Dancing With the Stars" contestant he said, "You all know Bristol Palin has a book. She reveals that she lost her virginity on a camping trip. Bristol said she named her son 'Tripp' because 'camping' seemed like a dumb name."
Chat queen Oprah has many hot buttons comedians can push for laughs, one of which is her touchy feely take on life. Joked George Lopez, "Oprah is flying her whole audience to Australia. It's the first time a plane is going to charge for emotional baggage."
The new OWN network CEO has also been hounded for years for her yo-yo dieting, as has her friend Kirstie Alley who once sported a bikini on Oprah's talk show after shedding some pounds as a spokeswoman for Jenny Craig. When Alley gained her weight back, David Letterman pounced on the chance to make some jokes at the "Cheers" actress's expense. "Kirstie Alley is joining Dancing with the Stars -- if you don't already own one, now might be a good time to get a wide-screen TV," he jested. A few weeks into the dance contest, the gap-toothed comedian quipped, "The judges scored [Alley's dance] an eight -- on the Richter Scale."
Alley got back at Letterman by appearing on his show and reading the mocking monologue items aloud as the Leno rival squirmed with mock embarrassment. In a quasi-apology to Alley, he said, "You do understand we love you and if you were skinny we would probably tell jokes about you . . . . Uh, probably not."
Celebrities like Kirstie, Paris and Arnold are ultimately stand-ins for our perpetually dieting cousin Polly, superficial friend Sally and flirty neighbor Fred around whom no female is safe. When late night comedians poke fun at them, we can connect them to people in our own circle and enjoy the illusion that the rich and famous are no different than you and me.
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- Paris Hilton
- Lady Gaga
- Lindsay Lohan