Wendy Williams made an excellent point on her show last week. Watching "The Real Housewives" in any city, pick a city, can be anticlimactic at times. Due to the lag in when these shows are shot and when they air, it's hard to be surprised since we already know what's going to happen. Even that psychic from a few seasons ago predicted Kim Zolciak would have a little boy. Still, mazel to Kim Zolciak on the birth of Kroy Jagger Biermann!
We do have to give Kim props because the girl's got her priorities straight. Her hospital bag includes an extra wig. Even though Kim's nervous about her impending delivery (her last labor felt like a "Mack truck goin' through [her] hoo-ha"), pregnancy seems to agree with her. She's not swilling wine or smoking. She even throws the perpetually put-upon Sweetie a compliment.
Cynthia Bailey is heading to the Big Apple to do some business for the Bailey Agency. It's all really a cover to flee Atlanta and grouchy old man, Peter, for a few days. NeNe Leakes is going so she can lurk outside of Trump Tower. Cynthia will be meeting with her ex, Russell Simmons and Peter seems cool with it all. Except all the non-partying she and NeNe will be doing.
Sheree Whitfield takes mom, Thelma, to the job site for her forthcoming McMansion. Sheree fills mom in on her conversation with ex-husband Bob Whitfield regarding his MIA child support. Mom reveals to a surprised Sheree she had to take her ex to court for back child support as well. Sheree tears up as she recalls her only memory of her dad was seeing him once a year for Christmas, where he turned up empty-handed after promising her the Speak and Spell she so fervently desired. Sheree is dismayed to realize she's repeating her mother's history and hopes her kids are able to break the cycle. Thelma encourages her daughter to go get her child support.
NeNe and Cynthia, in her Greenwich Village beatnik get-up, hit the Big Apple and after noshing on cheese that may or not have been infested with bugs, coordinate their visit. NeNe's meeting with her business partner to discuss her concept for Linnethia's Lounge, while Cynthia's off to give Russell Simmons some air time. NeNe knows Russell. Yeah, well, Cynthia used to date him. I think she's got you beat, NeNe.
Phaedra Parks, Miss High Powered Attorney is headed to court. Except her trifling client is late. Phaedra's confident she can get a slap on the wrist for this window-tinting-weed-carrying delinquent. After all, she knows the judge and everybody knows a great lawyer knows the judge. The judge grills the client, who swears he removed his tinted windows (yeah, not so much). The judge puts him on probation and mandates random drug tests. Out in the parking lot, Phaedra doesn't have time for that "I'll send you a bill," nonsense. Oh, no. She wants to get paid now. Her client obliges and pulls out a wad of cash, peels off a few for Miss Phaedra, who takes her donkey bootie over to her Mercedes. Hmm. So that's how one becomes a successful lawyer in Hotlanta.
Russell Simmons and Cynthia meet to reminisce about how he cheated on her. Russell is all over Cynthia's donkey bootie, but restrains himself since she is a married woman after all. She runs the concept of her agency past him, and he wants to know how she's going to handle the "chubby girls," with delusions of "Vogue" covers dancing in their heads. Cynthia's got a plan, but Russell, doesn't like the name. He digs that her name is in it ("Trump told me that. Put your name on your brand." Guess that's how he got to be very rich) but doesn't dig that "modeling" is in the title. He throws out "finishing school" and insists that has to be part of the name. For the chubby girls, you see.
Kandi Burruss and her mom have kissed and made up and now Mama Joyce is single and ready to mingle. Kandi's doing a photo shoot for her mom's profile on a sexy seniors dating site. Kandi's not thrilled with Mama Joyce's wardrobe choices and vamps it up for her. Mom's not feeling the "drag queen" look and wants to take it slow. Kandi's not sure what she's waiting around for, because time is of the essence. Just don't forget the condoms. Oh, please, Kandi. No more sex talk around Mama Joyce. Wait until she finds out about the sex toy business. Mama Joyce is just as sassy as she wants to be in her pictures and here's hoping she picked up a sexy senior or two.
Sheree's ex launches a preemptive strike, serving her with papers that he wants to modify their child support agreement. While her son plays video games within earshot, Sheree calls her mom, puts her on speaker and tells her about the papers. "Does he want his kids to hear that?" Thelma wonders. Well, apparently, Sheree does.
NeNe's got a date. Or maybe it's just dinner. No, it's a date, because this dude is laying it on. Thick. He knows how to treat a woman. He orders for her. He feeds her. He persuades a reclusive, broken-hearted Italian crooner to come out of retirement to serenade her. He whips out a Tiffany Box. Thankfully, it's a pen for them to sign their first million dollar deal together. He gifts her with a pair of Louboutins. NeNe's alternately charmed and repulsed. And so were we all.
Meanwhile, Cynthia's meeting her best gay, Kithe Brewster, for a drink. Kithe is only half a Kithe now, having lost over 80 pounds since Cynthia saw him last. But Kithe doesn't want to talk about that. He wants to get real with Cynthia. How on earth does she go from New York to Atlanta? How does she hang out with these pretentious, name-dropping, label-obsessed women who don't even know how to pronounce "Louboutin" correctly? Cynthia admits she doesn't wake up happy every day and regrets that she left New York. She's herself when she's in the Big Apple. In Hotlanta, she is but a pale imitation of her true self. However, she remains committed to Peter, because "I think I believe in Peter." Well that sounds like a ringing vote of confidence. Here's a thought. Transfer Cynthia to "The Real Housewives of New York City." Rumor has it that even after axing half the cast, the show is veering into Miami/D.C. territory. Are you listening Andy Cohen?
Next time, Kroy Jr. comes home, NeNe's got some explaining to do and Kandi holds Sheree's hand.
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- Russell Simmons
- Kim Zolciak