Chelsea Handler certainly seems to appreciate her guests' breasts!
Earlier today she interviewed Black Eyed Peas front woman Fergie for tonight's episode of "Chelsea Lately," and the gals just had to gab about the "Fergalicious" singer's lovely lady lumps. According to E! Online, here's what Fergie said while comparing her breasts to Chelsea's: "Mine have got a little hang to them as well. They got a little squish, they're good." She also said that her blessed chest is a problem when she tries to jump rope - she has to wear two sports bras in order to avoid getting a concussion.
The ladies started talking about their breasts because of a bit that aired on "Chelsea Lately" last night. In the video, a nude Chelsea gets confronted by meanie-pants Sandra Bullock, who is also pants-less, while she's trying to take a shower. Sandy criticizes poor Chels for sleeping with guests; boozing too much; and calling herself "white Oprah."
Here's part of what Sandra had to say to Chelsea: "You have a responsibility to be a respectable talk show host. This comes directly from Oprah's mouth, to my ear, to my mouth, out of my mouth, into your ear, down your body, out your vagina, up my vagina, out my a**. The theme of this message is that you are a huge disappointment." For some reason Sandra Bullock being nude makes these words seem even more disturbing than they already are - it's like the beginning of a really bizarre sex tape.
Luckily Chelsea got to recover from getting roasted in the shower by talking to her BFF Jennifer Aniston, who opted not to get naked during her "Chelsea Lately" appearance. However, Chelsea still had to talk about Jen's breasts since her bud will be playing a stripper in her movie "We're the Millers." Chels poked fun at her pal's pokies by saying, "You know everyone here at work loves your nipples, right? Every time she comes on this show, there's always something where her nipples are very, very pronounced."
Chelsea Handler better be careful about embarrassing her friend too much - Jen might take a page from Sandy and sneak up on the talk show host while she's in the shower. Even worse, she might get inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz by performing a Chelsea-bashing rap. And we definitely don't want DJ Jen dropping "dope" lines like this: "We heard you got a brand new studio, but we know that you got on TV by being a ho. You like black guys, white guys, whoever's around. Your bedroom looks like it's a lost and found."
With other famous friends like Reese Witherspoon and Charlize Theron, Chelsea's Comedy Central Roast would be just as star-studded as the Oscars. And if this is the way that Chelsea's A-list admirers talk about her, just imagine what her mortal enemy Angelina Jolie says behind her back!
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- Chelsea Handler