When it comes to colorful commentary and critique, "Dancing with the Stars" judge Bruno Tonioli is the bona fide master of mouthiness. Whether the feisty Italian offers up criticism or praise, he has a way with the spoken word that few reality show regulars can match. Here's a look at 16 of his most outrageously off-the-wall and memorable quotes, spanning all 11 seasons of the popular dance competition's successful run.
Season 4, week 1.
On country star and "Hannah Montana" actor Billy Ray Cyrus' debut performance, an awkward Cha Cha Cha with partner Karina Smirnoff:"You looked like a crazy bear lost in a swamp."
Season 5, week 4.
On entertainer Marie Osmond's lackluster Viennese Waltz:"It was a bit like Sleeping Beauty but still asleep."
Season 5, week 9.
On eventual "DWTS" season 5 winner Indy car driver Helio Castroneves, after his spot-on Foxtrot with partner Julianne Hough:"You must be a wizard because it's impossible to believe that you'd never danced before you started this competition. If you don't make the final I'm going to eat my book."
Season 6, Week 1.
On Latin leading man Cristian de la Fuente's failure to bring it on the dancefloor with the same intensity as partner Cheryl Burke:"She banged. You have to bang as hard as she does."
Season 6, week 5.
On the singer's hot and spicy Salsa:"Mario, if your hips could talk we'd be censored tonight."
Season 6, week 9.
On NFL star Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska's freestyle act. Bruno had spent the entire season espousing the pair's attractiveness:"It's like watching centerfolds. And the dance wasn't bad, either."
Season 7, week 1.
On feisty actress Cloris Leachman's first performance of the new "DWTS" edition:"Cloris my darling, I love you. You were floating about there with the imposing presence of Battleship Geriatrica."
Season 7, Finale.
On eventual "Dancing with the Stars" champion Brooke Burke's supercharged, lift-fest of a freestyle routine:"You ended up in positions that I've only seen in the Kama Sutra."
Season 8, week 4.
On country crooner Chuck Wicks' lackluster Lindy Hop:"Pizza to go, please, but can I have it crispier?"
Season 8, week 7.
On the diminutive rapper's uncharacteristically tame Rumba:"Taking the raunch out of Lil Kim is like having a margarita without tequila."
On hottie French actor Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke's Viennese Waltz:
"It had more frills than Versailles."
Season 8, week 9.
On Lil Kim's attempt to deliver a refined, classy Waltz:"You tried to be a lady but you're more comfortable being a tramp."
Season 9, week 4.
On NFL star Michael Irvin's progress (or lack thereof) throughout the early weeks of the season 9 competition:
"Your dancing is a little like the economy. Every week it's supposed to be getting better, but nothing happens".
Season 9, week 7.
On "Iron Chef America" Chairman Mark Dacascos and temporary replacement partner Anna Trebunskaya's sharp, karate-chopping performance:"It was a little like Kung Fu Panda dancing the Samba in the Planet of the Apes".
Season 10, week 1.
On "Baywatch" babe Pamela Anderson's provocative Cha Cha Cha:"I can only think of sex, sex and more sex. Stripperella is back home. Do it to me, girl!"
On the first of reality mom Kate Gosselin's many emotionally devoid dances, a Viennese Waltz with partner Tony Dovolani:"It looked like Tony was pushing a shopping cart around the floor."
Which of Bruno Tonioli's memorable "Dancing with the Stars" quotes makes your personal best-of list?
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- Bruno Tonioli
- Cristian de la Fuente
- Helio Castroneves
- Hannah Montana
- NFL star Jason Taylor
- Marie Osmond
- Billy Ray Cyrus debut