Good news for children of the '80s still hoping to land a hair band hottie, Poison front man Bret Michaels is back on the market! Only triple D and higher cup sizes need apply. Must be proficient at pole dancing and willing to live in a virtual harem on a tour bus.
This brings us to the question of the day, "Why do smart men make stupid choices when it comes to love?" That's right, I said "smart men." Keep in mind that Michaels won "Celebrity Apprentice" in 2010 after being hospitalized twice during the competition: once for a brain hemorrhage, and later for a mini stroke.
Defying doctor's orders to skip the finale and stay in bed, he showed up, killed the task and won handily. He's tough, you've gotta give him that.
He also seems to be capable of sustaining a long term relationship. After all he and his now ex girlfriend Kristi Gibson have "dated on and off" for 18 years. They have two daughters, and have lived together as a family for at least the last two seasons of his VH1 reality series, "Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It." So what went wrong?
Too Many Choices
Most of us will never know what it's like to have attractive members of the opposite sex literally lining up to offer themselves up as sacrifices to the alter of our overblown egos. Copious alternatives create several problems for committed relationships.
Obviously, there's simple, raw temptation, we'll call this "kid in a candy store" syndrome. Haven't tried Twizzlers yet? Give 'em a whirl. Of course, having a different brand of candy won't cause your tried and true Reese's Peanut Butter Cups to abandon you in a jealous rage.
Then there's that nagging worry that maybe, just maybe there's someone better for you out there, and - hey! - there are virtually unlimited quantities of potential partners willing to audition for the part. Why settle on one?
Don't Flaunt It
It's well known that most rock stars cheat. The women they cheat on will generally turn a willful blind eye on the star's discretions, as long as they can. But that's tough to do when your boyfriend is looking for love on national TV.
For three seasons from 2007 to 2009, Michaels taped the reality show "Rock of Love" on VH1. It was basically a dating show just for him. Contestants performed weekly tasks to win an opportunity to spend private time with the bandana wearing rocker. At the end of each season he choose a winner with whom he would presumed embark on a long term relationship - until next season, of course.
The series ended when Michaels signed on for "Life As I Know It" in 2010, trading the dating scene for family fun.
Living In a Fish Eye Lense
Michaels has lived the last five years of his life in front of a camera. An experience like that can lead a guy to think that everything he does is interesting. It can also make real life feel like a movie and vice versa. Decisions may be made based on their potential to increase the drama of the show, rather than benefit the family.
You have to wonder if Michaels' decision to propose to Gibson in the first place wasn't somewhat coerced. After all, KISS' fire breathing demon Gene Simmons took the plunge and finally married his long time girlfriend, Shannon Tweed. They got a lot of publicity out of all the drama surrounding the wedding, their relationship counseling, and all the juicy cheating revelations along the way.
But Simmons paid a tremendous price for those ratings. He had to air a lot of dirty laundry in public, and allow himself to be portrayed as a selfish, dirty old man.
In the end Michaels may have seen a similar future for himself in next season's "planning the wedding" episodes and decided to pass.
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